I lived with Gary from 1986 to 1995. It was a traumatic time for gay men to be alive because of the devastation and community changes AIDS brought. Gary and I were at the heart of our community’s response. Under this ever present cloud, life went on.

We lived with his close friend Jan and Mingus the cat in Grey Lynn. Gary continued working in astrology and naturopathy and branching out into art as he became more connected to his Tongan roots, something he was both proud and terrified of. He went from photography to brightly coloured, enormous, canvas backed paintings.

We had a few years on Waiheke Island where in the summer he could be found baking in the sun on Palm Beach or having deep discussions with friends over for the weekend or cooking Irish Soda Bread for lunch or rescuing his mum from the long drop toilet when the hole gave way beneath. A somewhat idyllic life.

Then back to the chaos of K’Rd and an enormous basement area in which he created a world fit for Kings and a medieval court banquet. Beautiful in summer and bloody cold in winter.

But life changes and we went our separate ways and he settled with his beloved Bevan on their beloved Rakiura. It was bittersweet that he spent his last couple of weeks in Chch where I was fortunate to keep him company and supply his daily hit of coffee.

Those ten years were the closest I have ever been to family in the true sense. A family created by Gary and his friends. He was a remarkable person. Incredibly handsome, softly spoken, intelligent and loving and I am incredibly proud to have known him in this lifetime.

Moe mai, moe mai, moe mai ra e hoa!

Gary,
I treasure the times that we had together, working with you and then over the following years spending time around the table for coffee, tea and scones. It was such a privilege to know you & have my life enriched with your friendship.
You shared your love, wisdom and generous spirit in a quiet way.
Your kind eyes glowed with humor and had a fantastic laugh that lit up the room, these times I will remember with love forever.

I am so blessed to have known and loved Gaz for close to 40 years. Through him I have met some incredible people and had some great experiences.
Stand out memories were when we dug up the backyard in Fisherton Street, in Grey Lynn, and put down an umu for 100 people. This was to celebrate Gary's 30th birthday. The house was heaving and the food was stunning. Fish curries in whole pumpkins etc. A great night, although one the neighbours wouldn't have appreciated. The Fisherton Street cottage benefited greatly from Gaz's talents. Over a few wines the floors would be painted, lounge walls given a fresco look, mood lighting added, and always colour, lots of colour.
Gaz was always years ahead of his time around healthy eating, making nut milks and wheat grass juices, vile smoothies, bircher oatmeal, going sugar free etc.
The medieval banquet for Ray's 40th birthday was another great event (St Kevins arcade flat, in K Rd). Months in the planning. I remember trying to source quail and quail eggs and making costumes for the event. Again fabulous food.
Spending weekends on Waiheke Island with Gaz and Ray. Soaking up the sun on Palm Beach, swimming and reading. Heaven.
Travelling to Rakiura for Gaz and Bevan's wedding was a highlight. Walking into the local dairy and seeing a big decorated chalkboard sign over the counter congratulating Gary and Bevan on their wedding day. Such a nice touch, showing they had been accepted into the small close-knit community. I watched in amazement as friends rocked up to the house at Ringaringa with sacks full of fish and mussels to share. The greenhouse, at the back of the house, full of lush, beautiful vegetables grown by Bevan. The food at the wedding carefully chosen by Gaz. Art on a plate. A really special happy, loving day for everyone.
I will treasure the time we spent with Gaz and Bevan on Rakiura in early 2023. My friend Rowena and I thought it was one of the best holidays we had ever had. Fabulous hosts, great food - paua pies, fish curry and we even saw seven kiwis. Superb.
Gaz lived life to the full. He never settled on mediocre. Always learning and trying new things. He was multitalented, creative, kind, positive, generous and so warm-hearted.
It was eight years ago yesterday that X Rays picked up lung cancer in Gaz. At that time he was given a few months to live. He was so determined to beat the cancer and get well. He put up a great fight and crammed in lots of travel and adventures. Even a few days before his passing he was trying to get home to Rakiura and Bevan, his love.

Gaz you will be so sadly missed.
XXX

To Gaz’s community and especially, his closest family. It’s hard to sum up a friendship that dates back to maybe the late seventies, just as it’s hard to imagine never speaking with such a dear friend as Gary ( Gaz) again !! – my thoughts are with all those for whom he was a dearly loved family member, husband, brother, artistic collaborator, and devoted ‘dad’ to Olivia and Loki, the cat.

I’m not sure when Gary became Gaz to me and others, but it feels like almost forever. Such a dear man; a gentle spirit about him; someone always with his finger on the current culinary pulse and health trend… it was on Waiheke that I believe Gaz served up a chia pudding – who’d heard of such a thing. He was an inspired whole foods cook but his cooking was never stodgy or bland – always infused with the freshest of ingredients and chocka full of fresh herbs – every meal was a discovery.

The time at Palm Beach is also memorable for the ingenious way he and Ray worked out colours for their house – by each eliminating colours they couldn’t stand and painting everything with those that were left… This is a method that I’ve quoted to other couples but I'm unsure how many have taken it up…

There was also an attempt to stop mossies breeding in the water tank by floating kerosene on the surface.. it may have worked for someone else, but at Palm Beach, it meant the water – at least over our visit - was undrinkable...

However, there was always delicious food to discover and share. I recall the first time Rainer and I visited together, and we all discovered Rainer didn’t know paw paw… we gathered around to watch him taste this ‘new sensation’ and were seriously disappointed when he was frankly underwhelmed. Fair enough – it was the mango season after all!

Gaz always had frangipani on the deck…

Then later, the massive flat at the end of St Kevins’s arcade… pictures of the Medieval feast created in colourful detail, including costumes – I was living in DN then: nothing like it here! – the walk through the park down to Queen Street

Parties at Jan’s house in Fisherton Street; digging up the back yard for an umu before the deck was created and discovering all this great soil that had been there all the long, while the vege patch struggled…

Gaz’s paintings… one of which came our way sometime after 1994 ( see image) and was given the space it deserved when we moved into this new house in 2021 …

Gaz’s efforts, along with Bevan's, to create a warm tropical space in their home on Rakiura so this Tongan man could feel the warmth he so enjoyed.

Then four + years ago, the shock and disbelief of his diagnosis – how could this be? Grade four lung cancer in a non smoker?? And one so healthy… Another reminder of the randomness of genes and the uncertainty of life’s trajectory.

How hard our Gaz worked to stay alive -!! The surgeries he stoically endured, in the hopes of being able to regain mobility to make it possible to again live on Rakiura without having to rely too heavily on his darling Bevan to move him about… I marvelled at the strength of his will to live, (though I could have done without some of those post surgery pictures -while the caption said ‘it doesn’t hurt’, my eyes refused to believe it … )

Dear Gaz. So hard to accept you’re no longer of this world. We will miss your bright spirit; your generousity towards others; your capacity to accept and embrace difference in many forms. Your love for your friends, family and your husband Bevan.
We are glad to have known you; that warmth of your loving spirit lives on in us and all those you were dear to.
Xxo

It was a true honour to get to know Gary over the last year. I feel honoured to have worked beside him to present his sumptuous, teasingly beautiful photographs of Christine Hellyar's aprons from 1985 at the Govett-Brewster Art Gallery. I am so incredibly grateful for his time, patience, gentleness, wit and generosity. I will so fondly remember the afternoon I spent with him on Rakiura, overlooking the sea, while he recalled his career in Tāmaki Makaurau. Gary made an important contribution to the queer and contemporary Pacific art scenes in Tāmaki Makaurau in the 1980s and 1990s playing an active role in the community response to the HIV epidemic in its early days. He will live on through this contribution—through the artworks he produced, and the vision he pursued, as well as within the communities he supported and uplifted.

Moe māi rā, Gary.

Dear Bevan
So devastated to hear (from mates in London!) of your loss. What a brave and courageous battle you two had fought.
Thank God you have such a network of support around or near you, mate.
Take care, X

Bevan, I didn't know till Church this morning that your lovely Gary had died. I'm so sorry. He was a very special person and even through his long period of illness, he remained a valued part of the community. We will miss him. and your home will be feeling so empty of his companionship. You will be in my prayers.

Gary you are a true friend and true gentleman who along with Bevan showed so much love towards myself and Betty.
We'll think of you often.
Peace

Gary,
You have left an indelible impression in my life; you will continue to inspire me to face adversity with acceptance and courage, to choose happiness, to live with integrity, to love with abandon, to smile and even laugh through the pain. Your cup appeared persistently overflowing, even in drought. Thank you for letting me in and for touching my life so profoundly- I am richer because of you.
XXOO

Dear Gary,
What a privilege it was to have connected with you. A gentle, kind soul with a natural warmth, friendly eyes and lovely smile. I miss you; the coffees ☕️, the fairy lights ✨️ and the flowers 💐 fussing Loki and laughing with Bevan. I'm glad to have known you - I gained so much from our short acquaintance 💓

Darling Gary...
Kynd and gentle soul.
At last painfree
We will miss yew sorely
But will hold your precious
Memoryz close within our
Heartz
Fly high, be free.

Gary, we met all those years ago at Auckland Airport. I felt I had known you forever. Such an accepting, loving man, never a cross word (unless you were referring to a Mudie card game).
How fortunate for Rob and I, that you and Bevan decided to use our holiday home on Rakiura, Stewart Island. Like us, you both fell in love with the Island, its Beauty and relaxed way of life and chose to move from Auckland to Ringaringa (what a view you had). All those wonderful sunrises that you and Bevan were so generous sharing with the family.
We shared the love of food, creating and sharing lots of recipes. My paua pies and pav rolls, always were some of your favourites, your blue cheese and spinach loaf and seafood curry were mine.
I feel privileged and honoured that I had the opportunity to spend time, share memories and assist you during the later stages of your illness.
Love you
Mazz

GARY Such a strong and gentle soul. Always a friendly smile (or cheeky grin) with a genuine interest in how we were doing and what was happening in our lives. Your strength and determination have been an inspiration.
You will be sadly missed!! You have left so many precious memories for us all to share. Our warmest thoughts are with Bevan and all your family and friends.
Rest peacefully now dear Gary.
Sending luv’n hugs

WELL YOUNG MAN TAKEN FAR TOO EARLY IN LIFE NEVER TO BE FORGOTTEN, A MAN WITH A CALMING AURA AROUND HIM. ALWAYS FELT SAFE AND CALM WITH YOU MY FRIEND. WON'T FORGET ONE OF YOUR CHOICES IN HOSPITAL WHEN WE HAD THE PLEASURE OF CALLING TO SEE YOU IN BURWOOD, JUST BEFORE YOU PASSED. YOU HAD CRISPS, REAL COFFEE AND THEN A SANDWICH WAS DELIVERED. YOU TOLD ME IT WAS JUST AS YOU ORDERED. WHO SAID HOSPITAL FOOD WASN'T GOOD. I WILL NEVER KNOW WHICH ONE YOU CHOSE TO EAT FIRST, BUT YOU HAD A LOVELY BIG SMILE ON YOUR FACE AS YOU THOUGHT ABOUT IT. YOU WOULD HAVE THOUGHT WE HAD BROUGHT A CUP OF GOLD, THE WAY YOU SMILED ABOUT THE COFFEE. GARY, IT WAS MY PLEASURE TO KNOW YOU AND NOW MY GRIEF NOW THAT YOU ARE GONE. WE WILL NEVER FORGET YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL SMILE. FLY FREE LOVE TO YOU BEVAN, AND GARY'S OTHER LOVED ONES I DIDN'T KNOW. REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES, THEY ALWAYS MAKE YOU SMILE. CHEERS

The Announcement

They came, the brothers and took 2 chairs in their usual quiet way;
And for a time we did not think they had much to say.

And they began and talked awhile of ordinary things,
Till spread that silence in the room a pent thought brings.

And then they said:’The end has come
Yes: it has come at last.’
And we looked down, and knew that day
A spirit had passed.
- Thomas Hardy

A brave, sensitive and loving man. It has been an honour to have known you Gary although for only a short time, but I won't forget our chats about rugby and the old haunts of Auckland.
I will miss you as will your family and many friends. My sincere condolences to Bevan and all the family.

An incredibly kind man, who always encouraged me to pursue my passion in art. Thank you for everything Gary, you will be missed by so many.

Gary, I am remembering your mellifluous voice, your kind and moderate nature, your complete and quiet support without judgement.
Your belief, wonderful windswept walks on music point or Horseshoe bay. Your observant eye, your culinary exquisitness. I remember you well, dear Gary.
Arohanui

Gary - I've always known you to be the quiet one, the discreet fella. But with your quiet, you offered a steady hand, a firm presence and strength that were felt by all who met you. I have known you for an age, I recognise that friendly face, that signature goatee that framed the warmest smile, and I have known you to be the greatest love to Bevan. You lived a life full of adventure, of immense joy, heartbreak, and sorrow, but boy oh boy, you lived. You will be missed, Gary. May we meet again to enjoy a pint or two over the tinkle of the piano, basking in the warmth of summer, wearing colourful and bold Hawaiian-style shirts, and surrounded by laughter.

A very brave and gentle soul who has touched the lives of many.
Rest in peace Gary, I won’t forget your friendly smile.

There are so many words that come to mind when we think of you Gary, but none of them do you justice. You simply were the most remarkable man.

You and Bevan shared a bond most people don’t get to experience. For that we are forever grateful.

What wonderful memories we have, from family get-togethers where you would cook up a storm (your fish curry was legendary, simply the best), Levi chasing you around the island bench laughing so much and you loving it, Singapore and our wonderful cruise to nowhere (we may not have got to those wonderful places, but we certainly made the most of it) and lately hospital visits while you underwent another operation in Dunedin Hospital. Rest assured I’m tightening my butt cheeks as I write this.

Thank you for just being you, a man with the gift of understanding, always able to make someone feel okay. We are blessed to have known you, your body may not be with us, but your spirit will live with us forever.

Dearest Gary, where do I even begin?! Thank you for all you taught me, I feel the massive and amazing influence you have had on my life every day. I will love you and miss you forever ♥️

We are grateful that life's journey brought us together, allowing us to share in the joy and love that Gary embodied. Though our time with him was short, his impact on our hearts was profound.
We cherish memories of strolling along Ringa Ringa beach on Rakiura, where Gary's bright smile would light up the path. We thank him for his unwavering support, guidance, and wisdom, which helped us see the world in all its vibrant colours.
Gary will be deeply missed, but his spirit will soar on the wings of our memories. Whenever we think of him, we will remember his kindness, love, and the beauty he brought to our lives.
Rest in peace.
Love to Bevan family.

Gary
The love inside you take it with you
To live in our hearts to leave behind is not to die.
Such a beautiful man.
Rest in peace
You will be sorely missed in our Stewart lsland Community
Love to Bevan & family ❤️❤️

You were part of our adventure when we boated across to our little shack next door to your house.
We will miss you.
Our hearts go out to your loved ones.